How Long Is The Storm

As I read the story of the disciples in the storm where they cried to wake Jesus so he could save them… I can’t help but wonder…
 
If their faith hadn’t faltered, would the storm have gotten worse?
 
Would it have continued until they were battered and beaten against the walls of the ship?
 
Would it have continued till the ship was battered apart into pieces?
 
Would it have continued until they had floated to land, cold and scared?
 
If this was the case… wouldn’t God still have protected them? But the path would have been quite a trial…
 
CS Lewis once wrote “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” and I find I can relate to that a lot… especially these days…
 
As my funds whither away to nothing… as my attempts to move forward get beaten back one after another… as my paths forward get increasingly less and less as my health checkups reveal problem after problem… As my daily prayers go by and still my circumstances don’t change…. I think it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed….
 
I am not strong… I simply have forgotten how to give up at this point… there are days I feel like a mutilated corpse, dragging itself forward by muscle memory alone… but even still… even should this whole life prove for not… God is still in control….
 
I see His hand in the little things in life. I see His comfort come when I ask for it. Though the giants still stand before me, and their execution axe are nearly at my neck…. though I feel chained to the ground by past stupidities and circumstances, and in spite of my cries God will neither loosen the chains nor defeat my attackers… it is impossible to say His hand is not present… it is impossible to say He is not in control. It is impossible to say He has abandoned me or Cannot save me… God is God. God is good. God is always here…
 
But it is also impossible to say I am not scared… I know God will look out for me. I know God will always be there… but that doesn’t mean there aren’t paths I’m scared to go down…. that doesn’t mean there aren’t paths I’m not scared to trust God even if He decides to take me down them. It doesn’t mean there aren’t paths I pray day after day and night after night that God will pull away from me lest I be forced to face them..
 
This is probably a lack of faith… This may be even why He does not bring them away until He proves that He is still God when brought through my fears… but that is where I am currently at in my state of human weakness.
 
But God is still God… God is still good. For all who go through life problems. For all who suffer and strain. For all who fear in spite of weakness…. I don’t know if I can say you’re right or wrong… but I can say you’re not alone…. I can also say that while Jesus did scold the disciples for their lack of faith, He also did dispel the storm in the end… Though I write this from the center of the storm. Though I write this at the peak of exhaustion… All I can say is pray. Give your best and trust in God. At the end of the day it was never your shoulders this was all resting on anyways. God is in control. Let Him be.
 
Amen
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Lessons From Weakness:

It’s been over 5.5 months since I injured both my legs, and I still have over a month to go before my appointment which will take me (potentially only one step) closer towards finding out if I’ve really had Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome or not (which the more I research it, the more I’m surprised of, if nothing else, how many people have lived through surprisingly similar stuff as me) and there has honestly been a lot that I’ve learned. Some positive, some negative, but all of which can be used to either make you grow kinder or harder hearted.

 

  1. It’s Surprising What You Can be Secretly Confident/Proud Of:

 

I have never considered myself to have that strong of an upper body, (though a lot of people apparently thought I did since I’m short and stocky…) but I had always been proud of my leg strength. They honestly always felt like they were made of solid iron. I could leap several feet away with a flick of my ankle, I could jump off walls, my sense of balance was pretty awesome, and mixed with a quick reaction time, there wasn’t much I felt I couldn’t do with them.

 

Ever since the injury however, walking on them has felt like they were being supported by bones of shattered glass. They randomly start shaking and give out on me. I tip over, or roll my ankle quite often, and quite honestly, merely stomping, jumping, jogging, or bracing myself feels like a series of tiny fractures popping all the way up my leg at once.

 

Where once my legs were the force I could rely on, their strength now pales in comparison to my upper body strength… and I’m not gonna lie, that’s hard to take.

 

  1. You’re Gonna Still Feel Like You Should be Able to do The Things You Once Did, And Will Feel Like a Wuss for Failing:

 

There are so many times these days that I go to lift something that originally was barely even noticeable, only to find me having to put it down 4 steps later lest your legs collapse underneath you. And you mentally kick yourself for it.

 

Because you know “It’s not heavy” that “This isn’t hard.” that “If I just push myself I could do it.” But that’s your muscle memory talking… not your body.

 

I honestly thought that if you suddenly lost half your strength, trying to lift 25lbs would just feel like lifting 50lbs did. But that’s not the way it works. 25lbs, still feels like 25lbs, but your body will NOT carry it long before screaming at you for being an idiot trying to carry it across the yard.

 

  1. The Pain is Not the Worst Part:

 

People don’t like pain… I have come to discover this… I don’t like pain… this is why, when I discovered people don’t normally live in chronic pain 24/7 I felt kinda jipped/furious! But the fear of pain will always be worse than pain itself.

 

If you live in pain long enough, your body will start to try and mask it out. On a lower level this works fairly well… you may notice you have less headaches if you take a painkiller instead of having your body try and compensate (though you will instantly regret that decision once the painkiller wears off) but when the pain grows to certain levels, it turns into a maddening numbness.

 

If you have ever pulled an all-nighter, you may know what this feeling is like. It essentially feels like your brain is too big for your skull. Like the parts of your body are layered on top of you vs actually being a part of you. This mixed with the feeling like your body is honestly hollow (Like mentioned above) creates this very surreal and rather unpleasant feeling that honestly, I would rather live without.

 

The worst part of all though, is when your body just “Gives out.” it’s not that you’re tired. It’s not that you notice your muscles aching because you’re pumping so much stinking adrenaline… but you’ll be walking along and suddenly *BAM* it just tries to collapse under you. You try to pick yourself up again only to find it doesn’t work… it is such a helpless feeling and honestly you feel ridiculously vulnerable during it. It is hard to take.

 

  1. There Really is a Bias About Guys and Manual Labor:

 

This one’s gonna get me in trouble… but I’m sorry… it’s real. And it’s frustrating. The amount of times people look at you like you’re the scum of the earth because you can’t be the uber strong guy doing uber strong things is ridiculous!

Not wanting to touch on this too long because I feel the angry mob forming outside with every word I type, but all I can say is this… the same way it’s frustrating for a girl to be told they can’t do ____ physical job, it’s frustrating to be told they’d rather not hire guys for _____ mental job. I mean I have a diploma in business, am acing a BA in business, taught myself to hold a basic conversation in Japanese, am teaching myself programming, write essay length Facebook statuses on rather advanced topics that was asked to be turned into a blog (check out www.macyaks.wordpress.com for shameless plug), can write professional business letters off the top of my head, am able to manipulate large amounts of variables in my head at one time, basically think in Gant charts, am a certified Excel Specialist, and more! I have abilities! Please stop judging my worth by how many heavy boxes I can move in how short a time!

 

  1. There are Many Ways to Keep Moving:

 

Life changes… you find yourself struggling to do things that you couldn’t do before. You’ll find it hard to carry down your laundry, to carry in your groceries, to drive for long periods of time, walk on uneven ground… there are so many things that change so quickly… but that doesn’t mean you just roll over and die.

There are many ways to move forward. If you can’t push past something, look for a way to work around it. Put it on wheels. Go down one step at a time. Cruise Control is an amazing invention. Park benches are as well. You may have to give more thought, but you don’t have to give up!

 

  1. It is Alright to Admit It Hurts:

 

This is one of the hardest parts for me. It’s one I’ve struggled with for a long time. However, reading through life stories and testimonies of people suffering from EDS I’ve come to realize I’m really not alone on this.

 

It is alright to say you hurt…. in fact, if you don’t say you hurt, no one is going to know.

 

Some people will roll your eyes. Others may try to tactfully trick you into “Growing up.” but realize these people can’t live in your body. Nor can you live in theirs. We can say “I’m in pain.” but what does pain feel like? Do we all feel it the same way? Are we all used to the same level?

 

The concept that someone can live with a distracting level of throbbing/stabbing pain in multiple parts of their body 24/7 without having a visible injury or doctor’s note saying “Their bones are broken.” is ludicrous to some people. Their bodies have never worked that way…

 

But the thing is, if they just continue believing your body feels as healthy as theirs is, you’re just going to frustrate and confuse them when they wonder why you can’t keep up with the same activities they do.

 

Admit it’s hard for you. If they can’t accept that from you, they would’ve never accepted you in the first place.

 

  1. You Will Get MANY Mixed Reactions:

 

We live in a world of polarized extremes. “Invisible Disabilities” seems to be a word that drives people to their respective pitchforks and torches.

 

Half the people you talk to will cry out “You need to go to your government! And demand that they give you supplements! You need support workers! And medication! And we will rally with signs to protest for you! (which not gonna lie is kind of encouraging to have people fight so hard for you… even if in some cases it’s more they want to have a cause to get behind)

 

The other half will cry out about how “Kids these days are such wusses! You just need to get out and exercise! Get desperate! Light a fire under you backside and put your nose to the grindstone! Then things will look up! You just haven’t really tried yet!” (and admittedly there are times you want to slap these people upside the head and yell “IF EFFORT WAS THE PROBLEM THEN YOU GUYS WOULD BE FAILING MORE THAN I AM RIGHT NOW!” but honestly, they do mean well, and there are a bunch of people taking advantage of the system, but ya… tact people, tact)

 

The truth though is… you are what you are… they are what they are… people will either accept that or not accept that, but reality is reality…. Keep fighting to give your best, not to keep up with them, but because that’s how we grow as human beings! You are neither entitled to an easier life than most, nor condemned to a miserable one trying to keep up with others.

 

  1. Your Best is Good Enough…. (But it Will Rarely Feel Like It!):

 

You hear it a lot these days: “Just give your best! Don’t worry about the results! Just keep giving it your all and realize that things will always work out for someone who gives their best! Great things happen for those who give their best! You can accomplish anything if you only give your best!”

 

But here’s the thing… Just because you give your best… doesn’t mean you’ll hit the standard…

 

No matter how hard you try, a failing grade is still a failing grade

No matter how hard you try, if you go broke you go broke

No matter how hard you try, if you’re unemployed, you’re unemployed

No matter how hard you try, if you can’t afford food you starve

 

There is a reality that people rarely talk about… either the people who write these posts are lucky enough to never reach those points of worry, or they just try not to think about these parts. But these problems nag at you. And all the inspirational speeches in the world can’t compete with the frustrations you feel.

 

But here’s the thing. You’re still growing! You may not be able to deal with the threats that are stressing you out right now. But you are still growing! You’re growing wiser! You’re growing stronger! You’re growing more compassionate! Don’t underestimate what you’re earning through these times!

 

Our life experiences may not always be pleasant… they may be painful, and they may feel like we can’t get what we want. But if you just throw these moments away as “Wasting your life.” That is all you’ll have…. Years of your life that you’ve just thrown away, when you’ve learned so much through that time that WILL help you for years in the future! Don’t underestimate the value of what you’ve learned!

 

  1. God’s Still in Control:

 

You’re not here to please others. You’re not here to acquire great wealth or power. You’re not even here to survive as long as you can manage. These are not the keys to your success or failure! You are here to serve God and go where He leads. You are here to see the amazing things He can do through you.

 

Once again, this is a touchy subject because of the divide. Beyond the “Religion/IHATERELIGION” sides which seem to be growing more and more volatile these days, there is also, within the church the “God will give you everything/God wants you to provide for yourself.” Sides which grow further and further apart ever spurned by their fear of the other.

 

God will provide for you… I cannot begin to point out how many verses in the Bible point this out. Even the parable of the talents that many like to turn to as to say “LOOK! GOD WANTS US TO TAKE CHARGE AND MAKE OUR OWN WAY!” ….let me point out, that

  1. a) They did not “earn” money, they invested it
  2. b) The servant was not scolded for not earning money, he was scolded for doing nothing with his talent
  3. c) God was the one who gave them the talents in the first place, not them.

 

God will provide for us. God WANTS us to rely on Him. This is not to say, “Oh just C’est la Vie! Life will do what life will do, but God will save my butt no matter what I do!” no… the Bible is also very clear that that is ALSO not right…. But stop beating yourself up over what you will eat and where you will sleep… God literally says that He’s got that covered. (Full disclosure: I rarely sleep or eat for fear of these two so I am not condemning you as weak if you are worried about it, just reminding you of what’s promised.)

 

But realize as well, that God providing doesn’t mean He’ll prepare the path YOU want… in fact it usually means the reverse of that.

 

We like our control. Well… let’s be honest, I’ve never met a human in my life who is truly in control of their life so… we like our ILLUSION of control. Whether we’re being led by our emotions, our desires, our fears, or our idols, we like to believe we are the ones taking charge of our lives and plowing the way.

 

God doesn’t beat around the bush. He isn’t here to give you freedom and power to make your dreams come true. He is here to lead you down the path He has in store for you and grow closer in relationship with you in order to show you the good He can do through you as well as how much your dreams PALED in comparison to His reality!

Though the road may be scary. Though you may lose things you thought you could not do without. Realize He’s got you and He’s still looking out for you!

Don’t run off the road when things look scariest and you want to grab the wheel and run for where you think looks safest… those are the times you need to rely on Him most! Don’t make a dark situation even worse! He doesn’t just want to make you happy, He wants to make you mighty! He made you, He knows you, He loves you. TRUST!

 

  1. You Haven’t Lost Until You Give Up!

 

I used to say “You haven’t lost until you’re dead.” But this isn’t entirely true… There are many who did not succeed until after they died.

 

Don’t give up. The moment you do, it’s all over. But as long as you keep fighting, there’s still a chance you’ll succeed!

 

You’ve come too far to give up! We are far too limited in our perspective of the here and now to see just how the present will be used in the future… but nothing is wasted. No effort is useless. No life accomplishes nothing.

You are strong.

You are influential.

You’ve got this!

Hang in there

 

 

A Prayer of Exhaustion

A prayer for when pushed past your limits:
 
Lord I am scared. I am worn out, defeated. I wake up dreading each new day, I go to bed late not wanting the day to end. I’ve given you my best, but it consistently has fallen far short as has been needed, and quite honestly I can’t even tell which way is forward anymore let alone how to get there.
 
But still YOU are GOD.
 
I pray that you save me. That you give me a path forward. For I am weak and cannot walk this path anymore. But even moreso I pray that if this is truly the path you would have me walk that you give me the strength to move forward. For how many could you save through one servant’s suffering? How many years of blessings could you bring in turn for this short period of pain?
 
I am broken, and in pain. I have lost so much yet still fear losing more. Each time I feel I’ve hit bottom, I am shown that there is still lower I can and will go. But more than my fear of losing what I have… I fear leaving your plans when they are still only half finished.
 
No matter where I am, nor what I have, nor what I am dealing with, you are watching over me, and you will provide. Even if many of my things I think I need go unanswered… even if I feel powerless watching those around me hurt and suffer knowing I have nothing left to give them… you will still provide when it is truly needed. You will let me feel the heat. You may even let me scorch. But you will not let me be destroyed.
 
Lord I pray again for I am scared. I am truly afraid and terrified. Yet I have seen your hand working so clearly throughout this all. I have seen you again and again working even if not in the areas I wish you were. Lord I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. These giants in my life are far larger than me. And I lay here chained in place half by my own doings. Lord forgive me for what sins I have done to bring me to this place, but also do not let your work be hampered by my own weakness. Lord to me these chains are lethal. Choking and restraining. To you they are brittle. Petty and weak.
 
Lord. I pray not for you to save me. Though I truly desire to be saved. I pray that you use me. That you use these circumstances to help me grow, and to encourage those around me. What a waste of suffering it would be if you brought me this far just to bring me back to where I left off. Lord I pray. I am not some victim struggling to survive. I am YOUR servant! Servant of the most high God!
 
Lord, if you are willing, I pray that you take this meager life, and use it to create an impact that only you can. For what do I have but you? What can I get that is not from you?
 
Lord, strengthen my heart, widen my understanding. Let these things soften me to become empathetic, not harden me to become bitter. Lord I am struggling. Lord I will fall. Lord I already have many times. Please Lord. I am yours. Do your way with me.
 
Amen

Relativity

Relativity:
 
In physics relativity is a word you hear a lot… what it essentially means is that the measurements you make are relative to your own movements and therefore not exactly “Accurate” from a theoretical “Stand Still”
 
For instance… we see a shooting star go whizzing by us and we think “Man it is moving so fast!” But here is the thing…. we are currently on an earth, which is both spinning and moving fast, in a solar system which is rotating fast, in a galaxy which is moving fast… This raises a number of possibilities.
 
1) The shooting star really is moving ridiculously fast, even faster than we are.
2) The shooting star is actually moving slower than we are, and we’ve overtaken it
3) The shooting star is moving at an average speed, but in the opposite direction as us, which makes it seem to be moving uber fast
 
As you delve into how relativity affects things, you realize that the speed at which an object is moving is not NEAR so important as the acceleration it took to get to that speed.
 
For instance, if you were in a movie car chase (DISCLAIMER: Don’t do that, it’s really dangerous) and your car was speeding at 100km/h and you jumped onto the car moving 101km/h, it would be a lot less lethal than if you jumped onto a car moving 101km/h when you were standing still. (unless you slipped then you’d just be dead either way)
 
Or consequently, you would be much more likely to survive a car coming at you at 15 km/h standing still, than if you were being thrown straight at it 15km/h the opposite direction of where it was going.
 
Are you still with me? Need a moment to de-science your brain? Need a lemonade? A backrub? I can wait…
 
So where am I going with this?
 
Pain is relative.
 
I do not mean this in the way many buzzfeed articles like to use relativity as in “Reality is different for each and every person. You really just have to find your own truth and live by it.” NO! Truth is truth. The car going 100km/h is STILL going 100km/h even if you are going 100km/h with it.
 
Truth is truth whether you see it or not, or whether you notice the effects as much as someone else or not. It’s still truth. But realize it is not the speed of which we are going, but how it compares to the speed we started that affects things.
 
I see a lot of people who say to others, “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO FEEL BAD BECAUSE ____ IS GOING THROUGH MUCH WORSE!” or people who will say about themselves “Well I feel horrible, but I must be weak to feel this way, after all, there are people who go through _____” Or even still, people who say to me “Wow… after hearing what you just went through, I feel bad about complaining about _____!”
 
No! There is no scale of pain, where you have the right, or no right to feel weak. The question is not, “What are you going through.” but “How does this compare to what you are normally weak in?”
 
Let’s say for me…. I live in chronic pain. I have for as long as I can remember. Every time I move my joints there is bone grating against bone and it hurts like crazy. When someone like me rolls my ankle (save for when I then drop an autoscrubber on it) it really doesn’t affect me much. I feel stiff for the rest of the day and then keep going on. In fact I fall to the ground rolling my ankle at least once every other week. It’s kind of normal for me.
 
Am I then going to snort and laugh at pro athletes or friends who roll their ankles and have to get carried off by two people, have it held up with ice against it, and possibly can’t walk again for weeks???
 
No of course not!
 
My body is not their body. My normal is not their normal. I can empathize with the frustration and pain, but just because it is my state of normal, doesn’t mean I can then go and roll my eyes at how week and wimpy everyone else is.
 
Our bodies, hearts, and minds need time to adapt to the changes. They need time to slowly rev up to the next stage. Over the years I have talked with broken hearts, frustrated children/parents, rape victims, addiction strugglers, people worried about their grades, people worried about when their next meal will come, people worried about themselves, people worried about those around them….. in all these cases they are still in pain… That is a constant.
 
Pain is not a state of being, as much as a stage of transition. The further the transition for us, the more pain we notice and feel.
 
I say this not to justify people to give up and just seek others to take pain from them… no, pain is very much a part of life. It’s our greatest teacher though also threatens to destroy us if we reject it.
 
I say this to let you know, you aren’t weak. You aren’t worthless. If your life problems seem so absolutely petty compared to someone else’s it is not a sign that you’re too weak to get through life. It’s not a sign that you should just give up now.
 
Don’t obsess over the things you cannot do! Focus on what you can do, leave the rest to God. As you face what you can though, you’ll find yourself adapting, and growing, becoming stronger and stronger. You may rarely feel it as life tends to hold struggles no matter who you are, but others will.
 
Life is tough, but you aren’t alone! You can do this! Hang in there!

Random Truths

Random Truths I’ve Noticed:
 
1. Life is unfair… but be thankful it is or we’d all be dead…
 
2. Hardships will always bring about change. You cannot control this… It will either make you bitter or stronger. But which one you become IS something ONLY you can control.
 
3. The people in this world are not out to get you… in fact, most who hurt you will barely even think of your existence… they are too focused on their existence to notice yours so don’t take it personally.
 
4. There is a war going on… it is a MUCH bigger war than just people. So seriously… stop blaming the world’s problems on people… you won’t win that way…
 
5. Life keeps on going… No matter how much you need to slow down, it will keep on relentlessly going… but at the same time no matter how badly you can mess up, it will keep on going
 
6. Results do not signify effort put in. Effort does not signify results you will get.
 
7. You can’t live in someone else’s body. Nor can they live in yours. What feels “Normal” or “Painful” or “Sick” or “Bad” is relative to them…. Someone who has lived in pain all their life may never even realize it themselves as they’ve never known a better world.
 
8. Putting in the best effort, as I said before, won’t mean you will succeed at what you’re trying to accomplish…. but putting in the best effort you can, WILL mean you will succeed at something.
 
9. There are no total losses. Even failure grants lessons and experience. If there were anything you could call an irredeemable failure it would be giving up.
 
10. Your fight is never over until you give up
 
11. If you really want to talk to God… just ask… Like seriously.. do you believe that there was a God who created all of this universe, did all the things said in the Bible, yet finding a way to communicate with you is beyond Him?? Pray, desire, listen.
 
12. This life does not rest on your shoulders alone. There is no point to assuming it does.
 
13. The greatest asset you can gain in this world, is other people’s support
 
14. The Lord brings people in our life to support us or test us. In all things though they are meant for your good and His glory. Do not blame others. Do not blame yourself. Praise God that you can grow closer to Him
 
15. A wise man is a man who knows he is not wise.

Proof in Pain

What do you do when things keep going wrong?

I don’t mean you get called out for the corners you cut, at least then you would have the comfort in believing that things would be better if you pushed yourself harder… I mean, what do you do when you push yourself far beyond your limits daily, you address every sin you can think of, you organize yourself, you face things you don’t like doing, cut things out of your life that hold you back, pray daily and hard, read your bible daily and intently, seek wisdom of others, and you still fail! (Not that you are perfect but if life required perfection, which ones of us could stand?) When the problems that keep coming up aren’t from lack of foresight, but incredibly unlikely things which mercilessly barrage you and threaten to overtake you. “If it’s out of your hands, why worry about it?” Is comforting until most of your life is out of your hands… until you find yourself continuously backed into a corner… as your own strength and endurance is continually taken away from you, as the size of your problems only seem to multiply…

What do you do when life is unfair, there is no hope, and the harder you pray, the more ridiculously hard life gets?

You find hope in that…

Because there is no logical reason for all of this to happen… because it is totally unfair to suffer so much when others who work half as hard end up 10x more successful and relaxed. Because it makes no sense that the harder you pray for deliverance, the harder your suffering becomes…. it makes no sense unless you consider life simply trying to tell you to grow up and take life in your own hands.

But why would life try to say that? Why would a non sentient state of being alter the forces of our world just to get that point across? The only way is if there were an entity of great power trying to make one give up hope that there is an entity of great power. The only one who would benefit for the denial of their own existence is one who wishes to destroy you, or the devil. The only reason the devil would work so hard to make you give up would be if there was one he was trying to keep you from seeing.

The world says, “Because there is suffering there is no God.” I say, “because there is suffering there MUST be God!”

Take faith, walk strong, pray!

Pray!

Prayer is not a final resort.
 
It is not a cop out answer you turn to when you cannot think of what else to do.
 
Saying “I’m praying about it.” Is not saying “I’ve given up trying.” or “I’m giving this up to luck.”
 
Prayer is the foundation of whatever you do!
 
It is the first step, not the last.
 
It is accepting reality not denying it!
 
I find we as Christians have come to put far too much value on the power of human ingenuity. We turn to wisdom before we turn to faith. But what wisdom is there in denying faith??
 
How many times do you say “Well I’m praying about it.” and instead of being met with encouragement, or cheers, you are met with the question “Yes… but what are you DOING about it??”
 
Though I understand why people ask this question. It will never make sense why such strong Christians ask it.
 
What am I doing? It’s simple! I’m praying!! I am bringing my fears before God who in turn brings my weaknesses and my direction before me. I could tell of the innovations I make. Of the ambitions I have. Of the dreams I chase. I could tell of the life improvements I make, of the sins I fight, of the weaknesses I face. I could tell of the plans I plot, the lessons I learn, the advice I ask for.
 
But who cares about that?? Will any of that save me? At the end of the day it is not my strength but God who decides when I will be saved.
 
So are those things worthless? NO! They are good! Do them! But we as modern day Christians have such a backwards faith.
 
You do NOT do good things so you can follow God. You follow God so you can do good things!
 
Prayer is not desperation. Prayer is not a shirking of responsibility. Prayer is not a putting everything on the luck of the draw. If you feel that is what prayer is, then I am sorry, but you are not praying!
 
Prayer is turning to God. Prayer is relying on Him. Prayer is realizing that all of your greatest strengths and attempts are useless if God does not have your back. Realizing that God can do infinitely more with nothing than you could ever do with everything! Prayer does not change God. Prayer changes us so God can work in us!
 
But what about when prayers don’t get answered? What about when you pray for things to happen and instead you get the reverse result?? Isn’t this just proof that God wants you to stop relying on Him and take responsibility for your own life? That you’re ignoring God’s will because you aren’t getting the answer YOU want, so you just need to chase after every opportunity you see around you?
 
If God wants you to stop relying on Him, be VERY afraid because that probably means you are in hell.
 
First off let me say that God is NOT required to answer your prayers. You are required to turn to Him but He is not bound to your prayers by contract. He answers them out of love.
 
That being said. The answer to God not answering your prayers, is to pray all the harder. Pray that you understand where God is leading. Pray that you might be aware of what God wants you to do. Pray that you not let your own wants and ambitions get in the way of where God is leading.
 
Prayer is NOT demanding things of God. Prayer is resigning yourself to God’s will!
 
God does not have a guessing game with us. God doesn’t give us 100 answers and then watch us squirm as to which choice is right. If you don’t know the answer than ask Him. God wants us to rely on Him. Those He condemned in the Bible are those who decided to act on what they considered to be God’s will instead of asking God where to go.
 
When Saul took the ark into battle. When Abraham had a child with their concubine. When Peter chased after the soldier arresting Jesus. Were these all not wise strategies by human logic? Were these all not people taking it upon themselves the methods and practices that God had taught them so far to bring forward the results God wanted??
 
Methods are not what save you. God is what saves you!
 
Pray! Before all things pray! After all things pray! Through all things pray! I cannot say this enough. We do not pray when we are lost. We pray so we will not be lost in the first place!