There is a paradox in this world I am unsure it is possible to escape. A ever spiraling cycle which gains speed and intensity with every round. A trap where the solution is so insanely simple to point out yet is so counter intuitive… no… counter-instinctual that I don’t know if the day will come that people will ever escape it…
Hurt people will hurt people….
The hurt we feel inside. The weakness it makes us feel. The fear of feeling it again that it builds inside us. It all wells up causing us to lash out at anyone and anything that reminds us of the pain caused in our past whether we realize we’re doing it or not.
But that is but the first step in this paradox.
Hurt people will hurt people…. And the people that they hurt will then fight back against it…
We rise up against tyranny. We make a stand against cruelty. We fight for our rights and our freedoms. We move to overthrow the evils of this world that would manipulate us and trap us due to their selfish agendas and lack of empathy….
But in doing so…. we become hurt people that hurt people…
And here is where the paradox is formed…
Hurt people will hurt people who due to said hurt will fight back to hurt the people who hurt them further hurting the hurt people…
Hate begets hate. War begets war. There will be times in your life when you have to fight to protect something, but nothing will EVER be “saved” through conflict.
Because at the end of the day we aren’t rising up against monsters. We aren’t standing our ground against demons. We aren’t bringing to light the secretive cabal that has made it their life’s purpose to lead your children into the fire and persecute you….
We are hurting people who are already hurt. People who have rationalized their actions as the only means to save people from the hurt they once experienced. Who try to live up to the unrealistic expectations that were forced upon them. Who live in fear of the fictional dangers they were taught sat there waiting to devour them the moment they backed down on this fight.
These aren’t monsters, demons, giants, or conspiracies. These are people… broken, shattered, tiny, insecure, frightened people. People just as much a mess as YOU are. People clinging to their cause as if it is the only thing preventing the overbearing weight of this world from crushing them completely… People who see your fight for freedom and cry out “PERSECUTION!” People who see the evils you overthrew as martyrs who died for the cause and further proof why it’s so important to fight all the harder.
There are times you must fight to protect someone… but you will never fundamentally “SAVE” anyone by fighting… because the harder you fight the further you strengthen your “opponent’s” cause… The more they will bunker down and build up their strength… the more fiercely they will fight against you.
“COME MY FELLOW PATRIOTS! COME AND FIGHT! RISE UP AGAINST THESE INTERLOPERS WHO COME TO OVERTHROW OUR WAY OF LIFE! WHO WOULD DENY OUR VERY RIGHT TO EXIST! They speak honeyed words but look at the pain and suffering they cause to others! They don’t care about you! They don’t care about their cause! They’re ruffians and hooligans who just care about the power this gives them! Look at them attacking innocent people! Look at the fundamental flaws in their philosophy! Look at all the areas of the world they’ve rooted themselves in! How can people be so blind as to let these monsters continue to roam free in our country? How can anyone be so heartless and stupid as to believe this cause is just!”
So are the battle cries we hear called out, and there is inspiration and empowerment in them. Such a cry sounds just. Like a great reason to go to war. To rise against tyranny. To protect those who can’t protect themselves. Oh how great of heroes we must be to fight for such a just and noble purpose!
At least… we would be… If it wasn’t for the fact that the “enemy” we are calling people to rise against are giving the exact same argument to their side.
Hurt people will hurt people…
And we are ALL very VERY hurt people…
Sure our logic may change. Our data points altered. The conclusions we draw from it differ. And yes; at the end of times we WILL realize that there WAS a “Right” and a “Wrong” to many of these arguments… but our reasoning? The thing that we accuse our “enemies” of lacking? Our reasoning is exactly the same… and that is why we can never win these fights.
The “Us” and the “Them” we so often talk about… what is the reasoning behind their actions? Well clearly the “Us” want people not to suffer. For long prosperity and for people to be looked after. For a future with peace and comfort for those who deserve it and punishment for those who hurt others. A place where you are safe to exist and continue existing. While the “Them” only want to push their agenda. They want to maintain their power and not let the little guy realize how controlled and manipulated they are. They want to fudge the books and keep us all in the dark so they can continue eating caviar and lobster. In fact; they won’t be happy with just existing! They won’t stop until they have the whole world within the palm of their hand!!!
Except… the “Them” you fear so greatly views themselves to be the “Us” and claims to fight for the same reasons you do as an “Us”… in fact… they fight so hard against you accusing you of the exact same “Them” behaviour you do of them!
Hurt people will hurt people… and we are ALL hurt people…
Our hate feeds the hate of others. Our fears lead to actions that feed the fears of others. Our bitterness leaks out causing others to be bitter against us…
Hurt people will hurt people…
So how does one escape this cycle? How does one break out of this ever escalating war of equal sides fighting for the same reasons yet claiming to be completely different than those they fight against? How do you escape the sheer ludicrous meaninglessness that our world demands to choke itself out by?
The answer is simple… don’t hate… love…
“Once I know my enemy; TRULY know them, I will know how to defeat them… but I will also love them.”
Tear down the monsters and demons you see around you in this world… turn on the light so the shadows no longer scare you… see what you have feared so deeply for so long… see humans… just humans… weak… tiny… frightened humans…
Work on yourself too. Work on yourself more than you work on others, for you too are a hurt person hurting people. So work through that hurt. Pray through that hurt. Receive help through friends and counselling for your hurt. Look not for how to find comeuppance but closure to your hurt.
Fight to regain perspective of this world too. This isn’t a world of saints and sinners. A world of cults and enlighteneds. A world of sheep and rebels. This is a world of humans… just humans… It’s not simply a matter of learning to respect those you disagree with, but also of taking those you look up to off of their high pedestals.
We are all nothing but humans… sinners… broken hurt and frightened people… We all do things that would horrify others… We all have sins we refuse to give up in our lives… We all fail more often than we succeed… We all technically have no idea what we’re doing… How could we? We’re finite and small. We are trying to survey the whole ocean through a tiny peep hole of our own existence. How many people will you meet in your whole life? 70? 700? 7000? 70000??? There are over 7 BILLION people in this world! The “Whole world” you claim to understand by watching people go crazy around you isn’t even 1% or 1% of the people in this world… YOU KNOW NOOOOTHING! None of us do. We are way too small and tiny to even scratch the surface of all this world has to hold.
We are small. We are broken. We are clumsy.
Don’t hold yourself to the belief that you’re anything more and don’t hold anyone else to the belief that they are anything less.
Understand this because we make too big a mountain out of how big our “enemies” are and too wide a valley of the gap between “us” and “them” when truly we practically stand on each others toes we are so much the same.
The escape from this hellish torment that threatens to choke us out is simple to say… Don’t hate your enemy; love them….
It is so simple to say yet so hard to do… And even should some devote their lives to such an ideal the vast majority of this world will not…. To fight for freedom from the chains of our own making that drag us down when most the world not only won’t work along with you but will ACCUSE you of “Siding with the enemy” for not fighting with them… well… it’s like trying to win a hockey game with most your teammates scoring on your own net and bodychecking you out of the way when you try to score on your opponents…
And so the paradox continues… this hellish trap I’m not sure we can ever escape even though the doorway out is RIGHT there beside us… much like the old woven “Chinese Finger Lock” toys that were popular in the 90’s… The solution to escape is simple yet seems to work against the very thing we are trying to accomplish… and so people continue to fight against it… until they choke themselves out and the rest of the world with them….
Hurt people will hurt people….
Until you learn to identify and let go of that hurt within you….
But…. will you?
Mac Yaks 