BUT! While I’ve opened up the can of dimensional worms… I’ll take the time to break into another controversial subject that tends to make my brain hurt more…. Identity…. Just who on earth are we??? What are we??
“Our identity is found in God! We are His children!” Okay yes. I know that answer. Good for you. Have a cookie. I get that response quite a lot but that is not really what I was getting to. For even in the body of God we are designed to be unique from each other in order to fulfill the broad scope needed. We are not meant to run independently but together, relying on each others’ strengths to fulfill our weaknesses. But then what exactly makes our identities?
“We are the chemicals in our bodies!” “We are the results of what those in our pasts have scarred us to be!” “We are creatures of instincts who have been tarnished by delusions of culture and society!” These are more common ones I hear the world come up with. However in this case I find the answers to be surprisingly lacking… or even in some cases saying “The sun gets hot by ice cream melting faster!”
I look at myself, and honestly… who am I? A guy who thinks too much? That is true. Someone who follows God? Well… ya I try… Someone who was outcast as a freak of nature and a monster? That is true as well…
We say “Your past does not define you!” but to tell you honestly it does affect you quite a lot. No matter where I go in life, or what I become, I will always have that darkness within me. There are memories of what I’ve done, images of what I’ve seen, doors which I had opened which can never be closed again.
I have had many a Christian tell me “Well that’s because your faith isn’t strong enough! Don’t you know God wipes you clean?” But I don’t think they quite understand what wiped clean means. I am NOT the person who I was. Nor do I ever hope to be again. But does that mean I never could? No… I am quite aware of what I am capable of… I am quite aware of how tempting it is to realize what I could accomplish if I went back to it. But I CHOOSE to follow God. My past has changed who I am, but I am free from it. Free to follow the new path God has set before me.
In the same way… Are our identities based on our knowledge and memories? It’s true that I was a much different person when I was a lot more naive. A lot more outgoing, adventuresome…. actually quite the idiot (maybe that part didn’t change) but at least I was an honest idiot 😛
But while the people who I have met in life, and the things I have learned have changed me…. can I say that THAT is what my identity is? ….No not really… because even though I couldn’t control what I learned or experienced in life… I could control how I reacted to it. And on top of that, part of who I was… something at my core… affected the way I would react.
I see it all the time in people that I meet. I meet people who are naive, people who are hurt, people who are driven, people who are hiding. There are the things they do. There are the things they try to do. There are the things they never want to do again. But at the same time there is always something else… something deeper…. a core that it is all built upon.
You could send 100 people through the exact same life trial, but there would be a variety of responses to how they reacted to it… because at their core they are different. Why do some people stand up to trials and some shirk away? Why do some people feel entitled while others just figure that is life? There are far too many variables to decide what causes this and what doesn’t….. but this I will say… no matter how much someone changes, reacts, grows, breaks, or more…. there is always SOMETHING about them that will always remain themselves.
Identity is deep… it’s depth goes far beyond what I can seem to comprehend. But I think (especially now) it is important to at least think about. How many world issues now a days rely on identity. The idea of claiming your identity, protecting your identity, not having your identity abused, knowing what you are able to do, not able to do. Where you need to grow, where you need to let go. Identity is a massive topic and I can’t even scratch the surface…. I do believe it goes far beyond our bodies and into our very souls.
This world says your body controls your identity… I say it’s the reverse. While I’m sure a person in pain may be grumpier or less likely to take risky moves than a person not in pain (I can attest) Or someone who can’t think clearly may not use their head as much as someone who can’t NOT think… I do believe there is a HUGE area that people overlook…. the power our identity has over our bodies themselves…. Sugar pills… the placebo effect…. What we believe, what we strive for, what we see ourselves as… our bodies to some extent begin to react to that.
Now I mean there is a limit… believe me… I hit it and it wasn’t pretty…. But at the same time, I think this has a bigger effect on our world than we give it credit for
Originally Posted February 16 2017
Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes!
And… so I’m 26!……. 25 was a bit of a rough year… not as bad as 22 was, (hopefully nothing will match that one for a while yet) but still pretty rough in a lot of ways. But through struggles, comes realizations and even growth. Sometimes life’s struggles are to beat us down, but sometimes the ride gets rough as we switch from one track to the next, and I’m hoping the latter took place.
There have been a lot of great lessons this past year that I’ve struggled with (and still do to some extent) for quite a while. Learning to turn to others for help instead of trying to carry everything yourself, Learning to not get discouraged by those who tell you to give up, or how you’ll most likely fail… But the most important lesson that I’ve learned is probably… not to aim low.
For far too long I’ve decided to be easily pleased in life… I figured if I aimed a little lower than where I was at in, and allowed myself to be easily content, that I would have a smooth life ahead. I was Shikamaru! (If you know who that is, you get bonus friend points)
Only get into conversations that you know you can sound smart in. Take the beginner’s route through your career while your knowledge is more advanced, keep your head down and don’t ask questions, aim for a simple life, making just enough to get by, with an average family, in an average house, in an average town, etc.
I mean logically it makes sense, I mean, you can win almost any game by grinding out your character up front and then facing the main game overlevelled…. but life is rarely so simple.
Two things I have come to discover.
1: If you aim low you are going to most likely fail…. Yep… this is truth…. Things I would have been fairly decent at 5-10 years ago, I now am horrible at. It’s not like a refresher course… As you grow you start to get off the rails more and more, getting back on them is hard. There are things you aren’t supposed to question that you do. Things that are meant to make life easier for you that trip you up. In a sense, it’s more advanced than it should be!
2. It’s a very unfulfilling way to live… You think that humans desire winning above all else… but this actually isn’t the case. What we desire is overcoming challenges. We need to push ourselves. We need to grow. This desire is so engrained within us, that simply living on autopilot is depressing! Would I have accomplished all that I had aimed for, would I be happy? No, probably not… I’d probably feel trapped and frustrated. In fact, looking back, I realize many times I was my own worse enemy, as I refused to do things the easy way when that was all people wanted from me.
And so now, I want to push myself in life. I want to see how much God can accomplish through me. To be bold in what I pray for. To see just how far I can go within this crazy world!
So here we are at 26… there is still a long uphill road ahead of me, and to tell you honestly I have no idea where it leads…. But I like to think I’m getting closer to the right path. So even though walls still surround me, here’s to the light that lays at the end. Someone woke the dragon, let’s see what it can accomplish!
Originally Posted February 13 2017
Being an intuition based person, I often hear this, and as such feel it needs to be stated;
INTUITION IS NOT IMPULSIVENESS.
Intuition is the body’s ability to observe things faster than the brain can fully register. Impulsiveness is making decisions based on your mood and basic desires.
Intuition still requires discernment. Even though following intuition requires a leap of faith, there is much thought and double checking that goes into it. Impulsiveness is doing without thinking whatsoever.
Intuition is not based on “your feelings” though it is “a feeling” Impulsiveness can be controlled by your mood, hunger, loneliness, or more.
Intuition is a skill which becomes more accurate the more you use it. Impulsiveness becomes more wild and uncontrollable the more you use it.
Intuition is something not everyone will learn. It requires a strong amount of knowledge about yourself while also a strong focus on those and the world around you instead of yourself. Impulsiveness is something anyone can do and most WANT to do. The only restraint we have against it is fear or common sense.
If you are not an intuition based person I can see why intuition based people make you feel uncomfortable. Intuition is not an exact science, nor is it something you have a great deal of control over. However it is more accurate than not, and I will admit, I have far more regrets from NOT following it than vice versa.
If you are not an intuition based person, please respect those of us who are. We can’t always explain our reasons, or understand them fully ourselves, but there is wisdom in our judgements so don’t discount them. To live a life watching people fall into pitfalls you warned them about ahead of time simply because you could not explain them well enough is a rather torturous existence. So when we do give advice, consider it at least
Originally Posted December 23 2016
I tend to get frustrated with when Hollywood does the trope of the introvert who meets someone who stubbornly pulls them out of their shell, so that by overcoming their fear and social anxiety, they realize how much they are missing out on, and live happily ever after.
I feel there are several rather large misconceptions with this plot device… I won’t lie. Being an introvert CAN be incredibly lonely at times. That part is true. But the reason BEHIND the loneliness I find is what they get wrong.
First error in thinking is that by making an introvert be social, they will no longer be an introvert… No…. Just no… Believe me. I can be very social if I work myself up to it, but it does not stop my introvert self. Because while I do like being around other people from time to time and talking with people, I also find it to be incredibly exhausting and stressful. Especially in large groups. This isn’t founded in a fear of people, or belief that they don’t like me. It’s just the way socializing works when you’re an introvert.
Secondly is the belief that being an introvert is a sign of weakness… that you just need someone to let you into their world, or else you will continue sitting on the outside scared. Truth be told, most of the introverts I have met in life have been the stronger people, showing great insight, knowledge, or emotional intelligence. They tend to be the people who get to know you on a deeper level and are the most likely to truly understand you even better than you understand yourself
But I think the biggest misconception is the thought that a lonely introvert is looking to be a made part of the exciting popular world… This is rarely the case… if that was what was needed, the answer would be simple. We would just join your world…. that’s easy.
When an introvert says they are lonely, it is not saying we are looking for someone to pull us out of our shell to join your world…. it is saying we are looking for someone else who is comfortable in their shell with whom we can be awkward shell buddies with. We aren’t saying we want a lot of friends… but a friend who we can relate to deeply with. We are not asking to be a part of your world, but to find someone who can keep up with our world and enjoy it as much as we do.
Those who try to save introverts, your efforts and heart behind it are appreciated. But if you really do want to show you care, let the introvert be the introvert, and respect the world they live in. There are high chances that world holds more beauty than they’re willing to give up on
Originally Posted September 22 2016
The only real difference between a dreamer and an innovator is ability to see your goals through to the end.
Surprisingly I find that the biggest cause of abandoned dreams is not weakness, lack of motivation, poorly thought out ideas, or being too ambitious…. It’s perfectionism.
There will never be “The perfect time to start” your plan. Nor will you ever have everything work out just as you plan right off the bat.
Life itself is not perfect let alone you. So don’t feel discouraged when plans don’t go your way. It has been said that the difference between an expert and a newbie is that the expert has failed more times than the newbie has even tried.
Now this doesn’t mean throw caution to the wind and go crazy. The purpose of failures are to learn from. So take their lessons to heart. Constantly tweak and adjust your plans as things line up and fall apart. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let them stop you!