Life Battles

July 12 2016

It is perfectly reasonable to find life difficult and overwhelming at times. We need to realize that life is a battle, and battles are not meant to be easy, they are meant to be worth it!


Why Do I Write?

Originally Posted July 11 2016

Why do I spam facebook with long messages? It’s actually not to share my vast wisdom with the world, or to convert the nations as a great leader… I have no vast wisdom, nor am I a great leader.

The statuses instead are the results of much prayer over things that worry and bother me in my own life and the world around me. If The answer I find brings comfort to me, I share it in hopes that someone else may feel comfort too. The more stressed or overwhelmed I feel, the more issues I face, the more statuses are written.

I wish I were a stronger…. I wish my faith were stronger to… Still I find myself falling for the same problems time and time again, no matter how much I know I should not.

I fear criticism of people and go out of my way to seek their praise. I have come to find I am not someone people can understand easily. Every action I take is to affect the path 5-10 steps down the line, across 5-10 different problems. Because of that, people focused on the immediate problem at hand tend to freak out at my methods saying they are nonsensical and don’t make sense. Over the years this has turned from frustration to paranoia to downright fear. Peoples’ criticisms affect me too much I know… The desire to be in their good books as well… The answer is simple, I should realize the only opinion that matters is God’s who already knows my heart, but acting out this way is hard.

I tend to get frustrated about things outside my control. I want to go down paths that remain shut. I don’t want to be stuck in places I can’t get out of. I worry about events that may never even come to pass. I could spend a lifetime scenario planning what to do if I ever got married, had a sustainable income, had a duty as a supervisory role instead of labour…. But I don’t…. And no matter what I try I can’t get there…. The answer is simple, I just need to trust that God has my future and focus on what I CAN do vs what I WANT to do…. But doing it is hard…

I live my life as a fish out of water wherever I go…. I am a thinker, empath, and tactics person who is constantly stuck in places where you rely on physical ability, endurance, and their biggest criticism of me is I need to stop thinking and just do it… I am someone who is very sensitive to peoples’ emotions and feelings who seems to often attract people with strong feelings who are very numb to other peoples’ emotions… I am an artsy/creative/geeky guy in a world of sports, cars, camping, fighting, drugs, parties, and what not…. I am a person of short bursts of strength and large recharge times, forced to be thrown into test of endurance after test of endurance… I wonder from time to time what purpose I even have in this world when what few strengths I have are considered faults and I am asked to rely on my weaknesses… I know the trick is to realize that God is my strength, and my best strengths are weak compared to His…. But I still find myself relying on my own strength in a depressing and unrewarding life..

So why write about stuff like this? Sure it has some therapeutic appeal, but only for a short time… The bigger thing is this… I am not strong… I am actually quite weak… The things I say or challenge are not because I have it all together and wish you guys did too… But because life is a struggle but it is a struggle worth fighting.

One way or another, to live is to fight… But it is better to fight smart than fight against yourself… I could continue on fighting for things I can’t control but want… For worries and anxieties that bring nothing… My right to experience things that temporarily make the meaninglessness of this life seem not to matter but in the long term leave you feeling emptier than before…. But what does that accomplish? I would rather keep fighting to be the stronger person that seems beyond me than continue fighting for the easier life that matches my strength… But I still have a long way to go…..

Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain

Originally Posted July 11 2016

To believe in God if there is no god changes nothing in life….

no matter who you believe in, no matter what you believe in… none of your choices really matter… we are but a speck on an ever cycling spiral of human nature… everything we’ve done has been done before… everything we think has been thought before… Sure those who believe in gods will have wasted their lives chasing after morals and ideals impossible by human nature in a desperate coping mechanism to ignore the futility and difficulties of life… but at least you usually have a mostly positive impact on the world when you do that so it kind of evens out….

To believe in God if there IS a God changes everything in life…

If there IS a God, there must also NOT be other gods… a God who says believe Him but no other gods is either a selfish jerk if there are gods other than himself (in which case how could he be good?) or is a raving lunatic if he denies the existence of other gods which are simply a new interpretation of himself (in which case why would you follow him??)

One correlation within every religion is that they believe themselves to be right, which in turn means others must be wrong. Yes even the religion that says every religion is right is saying that every religion is wrong because how can religions that say other religions are wrong be right if everyone is right?? It doesn’t work! So in order for a god to be the TRUE God, it logically would mean the other religions’ views of god would be wrong.

If there is a God then our lives suddenly have purpose.

If God created us, then that means that we are more than some freak accident having to bear the burden of sentience due to some cosmic oops. To accept that we serve purpose is to accept that we cannot simply live our lives on auto pilot. Your choices matter! Your existence matters! The way you were created matters!

You may say “I have things about me that make no sense. What possible reason would a God have for creating people with these disabilities or inadequacies?”

You are not the creator! I could argue all I like about Leonardo using so much brown on the Mona Lisa when I would prefer there to be more colour, but no amount of my whining and inability to understand would lessen the beauty and fame of his painting. God created you for a reason. He created you the way you are for a reason. Yes there are disadvantages we put on ourselves by turning away from Him, but even those He can use for His purposes. He is God. He is all knowing. He is all powerful. He is good. He is the one who made you. Accept there is a reason. Accept you have value. Accept you have something worth living for!

If there is a God than humanity’s stupidity is far less frightening.

This world is scary…. We have idiots in leadership positions… We have wrecks as idols… We have those who would control us in front of the scenes through causing terror… We have those who would control us behind the scenes through chess like actions and double talk… we have an economy collapsing… we have people turning upon themselves… we have chaos, anarchy, hatred, bitterness, lust, greed, rage, pollution, politics, wars, weapons of mass destruction, all sorts of things that want to destroy everything we know and love about this world…. But even though there is so much that is bigger than us… there is a God who is bigger than them…

The God who lets nations rise and nations fall. The God who is in control throughout all things. The God who does all things for His purpose. Though we may stumble, though we may fall, though we may walk near the fire, God is with us, and God can carry us through. If there is a God than what do we have to fear from mankind? Even though they may look like evil has won, they have lost this war before it began.

If there is a God than morals serve purpose.

What are morals? Sociology always put it as cultural norms that we are conditioned to follow but quite frankly that does not make sense….

All of humanity is attentive to three distinct voices whether they distinguish them or not…. the loud voice that tells them what they want to do… “Check out that hot chick! It’s okay to speed here! Take two, who will care?” The quiet voice which tells us what we SHOULD do…. “You are better than this… they deserve better than this… that feels wrong… This isn’t the way you should head…” and finally the voice of our will which decides which of these voices to follow…

So why do I find morals being a construct of society hard to believe?? Because quite frankly that quiet voice has no right to be there…. It’s easy to ignore, and the more you ignore it the quieter it gets. For over 7000 years now we have seen society after society ignore that voice more and more until they were at last beaten out. How can this be a construct of society when society itself repetitively rids itself of it?

So if there is a God… then what?…. Well then that quiet voice is suddenly far more important…. you see if the God of Christianity is true…. then God gave us the most dangerous and most loving thing He could possibly give us…. the ability of choice… to choose to follow Him, or to choose to not… and if you choose not to follow Him…. the scariest part is that He lets you…. you will face the consequences of your actions most likely even if it is a 1/100 chance…. to tell you honestly it is far scarier when you get away with it… but if God is real… and He is a God who cares for us and wants us safe… than those morals are far more than just arbitrary rules placed to make life difficult… they are rules placed for your safety.

There are a lot more but it is late…. The main thing I want to say is this again…. There are many these days who demand that God cannot be real… or worse the half thought out idea that any religion can give you the same thing, which is ultimately saying no religion is real, save for the emotional comfort it gives, without thinking about it… But the thing is… if God were not real then why would you care about it so much?

For God to not be real in this world, nothing will change whether you follow Him or not…. but for God TO be real… EVERYTHING will change whether you follow Him or not


Originally Posted July 7 2016

Have you ever experienced agony?

No I don’t mean stubbing your toe… getting shampoo in your eyes… realizing there’s a knife sticking out of you… or even, worst of all, getting a papercut… I mean those moments when you are in so much pain that you lose control of your body…

I get it from time to time… when I don’t pay enough attention to my tomato allergy… and as you sit there crying… you can’t stand… your face is on fire… your vision is disappearing… your hearing as if your head is in a paper bag… you feel like ripping out your own organs… you question if it may actually be possible to die from pain alone… maybe you pass out for a while, maybe you just stay crying…. but then it’s over… and you’re sore but it’s over… you start to heal… within a few weeks it is almost as if it never even happened… if you’re an idiot like me you may even order another extra large pizza for yourself! (I have a weakness guys!)

But here’s the thing… pain is temporary… and while it may give notice to loss happening in your life, the pain itself cannot harm you. Pain is a part of life, but it is a temporary part of it which, while during it feels like the only focus of your life, can be barely a memory and an increase of wisdom and wariness afterwards.

I feel like we give too much credit to pain…. We feel like it is the ultimate judge of good and bad in this world…. We tell ourselves “If God is a good God than He must take this pain out of my life! Else He would not be a good God!”

Okay no…. See God is a good God…. He holds no obligations to be a good God… whether you live or die holds no impact on just how good God is!

God is not obligated to keep pain from your life to be a good God… but because He is a good God He does not want to see you suffer.

Sometimes to avoid suffering pain is needed. I am a stubborn person. As a kid I had my rear end whacked so much that I feel it has become invulnerable to pain. But the thing is, sometimes a lesser pain is needed to avoid the greater pain.

I look at life where it is currently and there is a lot of pain… there is a lot of loss… there is a lot of things that don’t seem as they should be…. but in spite of it all God is still God…. A part of me fears some days, “What should happen if I die to some stupid mistake right now when there are still so many things I want to do but can’t?” The truth is… whether I live or die… whether I move forward or backwards… whether I thrive or suffer… God is good. I do not follow Him because He makes my life good, I follow Him because He is good…. and that Has a bigger impact than I could ever know.


Originally Posted July 4 2016

Has the term “Nation” changed from Old testament times to New testament times?

When discussing religion, people AGAINST religions usually are quick to bring up the extreme methods of dealing with people who turned against God… Stoning, eradication, etc. I will be the first to admit this is an area I have always struggled with this… It seems so disturbing at times to read about a sinner and their family being killed out and I am not certain if I will ever fully understand this side of heaven… This raises the question though, what impact does this have on our current day structure.

While thinking of this, I noticed an interesting difference between the nations pre-fall of Israel, and post fall of Israel…

Pre fall of Israel, we see the term “Nation” used in a very strange sense… It is a family… And a club almost…. We see people added to the nation when they share the same beliefs. (Abraham) We see people given the opportunity to leave the nation if they don’t agree with the beliefs (Joshua) These bonds are taken seriously, and as such, to defy them would seem to be a betrayal of the very nation itself… But then post fall of Israel and more prominently into the new testament and modern day, we see a change of what nations are. No longer are nations about ideals as much as about land area.

Many Israelites were held captive or lived in areas that held very different beliefs than their own. Who spat on their beliefs. Paul and the apostles actively went out into these nations by choice to preach to these people.

So did God tell them to kill all who refused to repent? No! In fact they were told to serve with the best of their abilities and quite often saved the nation they were in!

Is this a complete departure from how God had been working up until now? Actually no… If we read the old testament we see several times where similar reactions took place. Be it Abraham passing through other nations, or Joseph in Egypt… In fact for all the nations the Bible covers there are very few times God actively says “Wipe them out.” There is defending against the phillistines, and there is the taking of the promise land… But when it is not in defence there is another subtle hint. “God’s Wrath.”

God specifically tells the Israelites not to attack certain nations when His wrath is not ready… Why is this important? While it never goes into too many details of that nation’s spiritual history, it suggests that God had been actively giving that nation many chances to turn back to them.

God many times says he is angered or disgusted by the acts of a nation… But it is never because of the race of that nation. What does anger God is continued running away from him and what does disgust God especially are those who claim they know His ways better than the scripture says.

So how does this apply to modern day? You don’t really have that much control over your nation…. Maybe an idiot is being voted into leadership… Maybe politicians got trapped by their own manipulations…. Maybe laws are being passed that go against what you believe. So what do you do? Do you rise up against the government? Do you force the country to listen to you?

God says you are a citizen of that country. Respect its laws and love its people. God says give that country your very best and love the people in it. So realize it is not your place to control the minds of those around you. God allows nations to rise and fall. It is not your failure that causes bad things to happen but God’s plan to let His name be praised.

At the same time, remember you are FIRSTmost a citizen of God’s kingdom… You must respect the laws of the land and the ideals of those around you. You do NOT have to agree with them or live with them yourself.

Daniel prayed proudly when it was illegal, His friends refused to bow to an idol when it meant they would burn. The church refused to stop preaching Jesus when they were threatened a torturous death.


Do not let the demands of the nation you currently preside override the instructions of the kingdom you swore allegiance to. This world can only do so much to you. You serve a far more powerful God than the can even touch.



Originally Posted July 2 2016

Chaos; arguably the opposite of peace. It is the unsettling feeling of having nothing one can rely on or turn to. It spreads like a disease with chaos begetting more chaos. Not only does our world seem to be heading that direction with the major countries reaching turmoil after turmoil, and a post apocalyptic wasteland/dystopian future being accepted as pretty much the only future we have to look forward to, but on top of this there are those who would stir the flames to purposely strike and create more chaos like Ares of mythos.

As groups like ISIS, the Taliban, the media, ambitious usurpers, profiting from the repetitive stirring of trouble, it seems like peace is becoming a distant memory as people are on edge and beginning to question who and what they actually can trust anymore?

So how does one create chaos anyways? Ironically the easiest way is to let peace take hold.

Any con artist, or terrorist, or war mongerer will know that the easiest way to create chaos is to make the people doubt peace. People have things they turn to and rely on. The safety of their country. The trust of their friends. The hope for their future. To truly create chaos you must discredit but not destroy these things.

You must create an enemy who is indistinguishable from friend. Create a country they feel they must stay in but feel they have no control over. You must give them the hope that the future MIGHT work out, but make it seem so unlikely at the same time. If those lights of hope are snuffed out completely, chaos cannot ensue.

Humans are adaptable and hearty creatures. If given an enemy or a challenge they CAN and WILL overcome it.

Give them a solid enemy and they will unite to destroy it. Give them a destitute country or home and they will leave it and create a new home. Give them no hope for the future and they will go down trying to fight it. But keep that crumb of hope in there to keep them apathetic and scared to lose what they have left, and you will destroy them.

So why do I bring up such a depressing subject? Why talk about how to manipulate and torture other people? Because manipulation is a funny thing. It is one of the most powerful tools but only works when you think you aren’t being manipulated.

When someone turns out to be a con artist, or a terrorist, or a madman… usually people say “I never would have guessed it! He/She seemed like such an average and decent guy/girl!” And why on earth not?? I mean that’s the most basic rule of manipulation. Unlike teasing which relies on you making someone take you too seriously and then making a fool out of them for it, manipulation relies on you putting someone at ease, and feeling it would be foolish to question their motives. Whether this be by playing an interested party in their life and interests, or playing on their insecurities of looking naive such as in the Emperor’s new clothes, the more reason you give someone to believe you are a decent person, the more heinous things you can do behind their backs without them noticing.

That being said. If this illusion is to be broken, and someone is to question the intentions of said party, then suddenly the truth begins to come to light. Whether this be by too few contradictions in what they do (As is common of someone who tries too hard to deceive) or too many contradictions to just be coincidence… all those things you simply brushed aside as paranoia begin to add up and become clear to you.

We are in the midst of a war right now. And I don’t mean the cold war, the war on terrorism, or any civil war… no… this war is much bigger and much larger than simply the kingdoms of man fighting together. There is a war waged over humanity itself. God fights for us because He loves us. The devil fights for us because God loves us and it’s the easiest way to get to God.

This world has hit a patch of chaos… whether this to be the usual bicentury switch over of world powers, or just a rough patch who knows. But still chaos is happening. Mankind has become proud and foolish… fighting amongst themselves instead of uniting. The world powers are wavering crippled with debt, secrets, double talk, and stress. The people crave sensation and things to react to, yet feel no desire to act or grow. Anger and excitement have become the driving force for most emotions. People question who is friend and who is foe even within their own towns. Scapegoats are created and witchhunts are organized. The concept of “the path to adulthood” has been blown to smitherings by debt, expectations, and a dead job market. And so we stand and watch as everything we once learned to rely on and lean on absolutely destroyed…. but we are not dead.

Know that even if the world stands against you, the God who created everything stands behind you. Though people will fail you, the kingdoms will fall, though what illusions of strength you have will fade away, God is! God was! God always shall be! He is the absolute. He is here for your benefit! He is here if you turn to Him!

Chaos comes from the destruction of what you feel you can rely on. Thus the only way to properly combat chaos is to rely on the one thing that could never be destroyed.

We are at war. But it is not a war of destroying the enemy. It is a war of discovering Him and learning friend from foe!

Limits of Mythology

Originally Posted June 30 2016

I think one of the major qualms I have with most mythologies (fictional and real) is that they usually depict gods as simply powerful humans.

What do I mean by powerful humans? I mean that they will have powers that defy logic or understanding, or human ability, yet in the end they are either indifferent on humans, trying to support them though have a temper, or will try to manipulate humans to their own will.

If a human were to be given the powers of these gods but still remain with the heart of a human, they would still be human. Power is a mighty tool, but not a reason to bow down or worship someone.

If I was armed with a butter knife and found out my opponent came with a tank, yes I would submit and do what they wanted. But my heart? My heart would still be looking for a way to overthrow them. This is why, I think, atheism and agnostic beliefs are so popular in fantasy stories. Because who would actually want to worship and follow such beings? They’re more like spoiled toddlers wielding assault cannons than gods!

But in a way it makes sense. It is considered a law of reality that something is incapable of producing or understanding something equal or greater than itself. Think about how much we still don’t understand about the human body or brain in spite of millennia of study. So it makes sense that a human’s picture of a god would be a human capable of things they were not.

For a god to be truly worshiped however, it has to be something beyond human… Not simply powers beyond human, but a heart beyond human as well.

Such a being is impossible to consistently make up unless you were told by something outside how it should act. Believe me, as a writer I see even my most ideal characters painted with the personality of who I am.

It’s reasons would be simple and clearly stated, yet also hard for us to understand as they would be so unlike anything we could imagine. It would tell us to live ways that seem to go against our understanding of how the world works, yet their paths would line up straighter than even our own instincts.

Though that being said, such a being would be impossible to accurately make up and write, as in order for there to be a being who is great enough to be worshiped, it would have to be something greater and wiser than you. You cannot search greater wisdom through your own wisdom. Wisdom is not gained that way. You can organize your thoughts and draw conclusions which feels like wisdom, but that wisdom still comes from things and interactions outside of yourself.

To see such a god written about therefore would be very hard to take lest it had some truth to it…