Why We Hurt Each Other

Originally Posted December 6 2016

There are so many reasons why people hurt each other, yet it never ceases to surprise me just how many do it obliviously.

Maybe it’s because they’re too self centered, or because their emotional intelligence is at 0… maybe they just haven’t honestly thought about the results of their actions and thus think they are doing fine.

We all have blind spots, and I have met some of the nicest people who have violently broken a ton of lives.

We really put too much weight on justification. If someone were to cut me off on the street, they would be a jerk who can’t drive and thinks he owns the road, if I were to do it it would be an accident because I’m overtired. If someone comes door to door trying to convince me of their belief, they’re persistent and a pain. If I do it I’m doing great good in the world. If someone were to do something for me just to get me to lower my guard so they could get something from me, they’d be manipulative and cruel. If I do it it’s because I’m trying to help them.

Is this really the way to live though? Just because someone does something uncomfortable, hurtful, or downright offensive to you doesn’t mean they meant to do that. And just because you’re trying to do something you know will help someone doesn’t mean you have the right to use any method out there.

Do not hate someone for their actions. Look further than that at their intentions. Not that you can always see that correctly as it’s tough to do, but trust me, it is possible and it becomes more and more obvious with time.

And it’s not just “Believe everyone has your best in mind no matter what they do.” because…. not everyone does.

It is very rare, but there are times when you meet someone who does something that would hurt or not honour others, and knows it, but does it anyway.

Even in this case, majority of the time it is out of fear.

I lie to you because I’m afraid what you’d do if you heard the truth. I insult you, because I’m scared what you’d do to me if you felt you had power over me. I steal from you because I’m scared that I can’t make it honestly.

but every now and then…. very very rarely these days… maybe every half decade or so I meet someone who does wrong to others simply because they are their play thing. In this case give a wide berth…. for there are few people more popular or more dangerous than a person who views this world as their play thing.

They are popular because they do understand that people are easy to manipulate. They know the right things to say, and just how observant/unobservant people are to their contradictions. They are not limited by honesty in order to flatter or convince you they have your best interest in mind.

They are dangerous because they have fully convinced themselves that they are over you. That your wellbeing is second to their enjoyment. And even more dangerous is the day that they meet someone who can see them for who they are, and that world they made their center threatens to collapse. A cornered animal is always the most violent.

But even in this case, they are the more to be pitied… for they have convinced themselves of a lie. They have convinced themselves that by having a greater perspective than others, that they have more value than others. Such a lie cannot be sustained by reality. Such a lie will continue to eat away at them with unfilled expectations and depression. Such a lifestyle is a lonely and unrewarding world.

There are people who do evil things for evil reasons in this world, yet no one sins out of obligation. They sin out of the belief that they can earn something good out of it. Sin is corruption, it cannot stand on its own. And majority of the time, people who do wrong do not intend it… in fact they are completely oblivious to it. So do not be too hard on those who hurt you. Be aware that you most likely have hurt others yourself. We are human beings, which are far less than perfect. Don’t just accept people FOR their evil, but accept them in SPITE of it


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