Standards for Happiness

Originally Posted June 4 2016

You know . . . I sometimes wonder if it is not that there are more ways for people to find purpose and happiness these days, as much as that the bar for the “bare minimum” of purpose and happiness is set so much lower than it used to be . .

I remember as a kid, I had a dream about Pippi Longstockings and was CERTAIN I was in love. Then in the first grade there was a girl I hung out with all the time, and was certain THAT was love…. In the seventh grade there was a girl who made my heart beat faster every time I saw her. Surely that was love! By highschool there was a girl I really wanted to be best friends with and said hi every chance I had. Surely by then THAT had to be love right? By college I thought that if someone ACTUALLY asked me out, that must be love? By the time I graduated I wondered if love was simply going for someone I looked up to and admired. Now a days I really haven’t a single clue what relationship love is… You can (and in my opinion should) love everyone, so it’s more than your feelings and your efforts… I feel like it’s a balance between chemistry and compromise; putting the other person first, but realizing that neither of you should stand in the others’ way of where life is leading them. That if you really love some one sometimes the best thing you can do is let them find someone who won’t hold them back. Finding someone you are equally helping each other through this thing called life, not one carrying the other… but where you draw those lines is beyond me.

My concept of love has changed, and I’m not so daft as to think it won’t change again. The thing is that we aren’t really born with an in depth knowledge of love, just a knowledge that whatever it is we really need it.

With that being said, I see a lot of people talking about their love lives (in general I’m not calling out any of you guys) Some of the bragging I hear is as follows:

I know I have found love because we don’t argue like my parents did.
I know I have found love because they don’t beat or rape my children.
I know I have found love because we make out every day.
I know I have found love because they do it whenever I want.
I know I have found love because my heart feels good.
I know I have found love because I can leave whenever I want.
I know I have found love because we promised we won’t impact each others’ lives.
I know I have found love because I feel I can leave and not be hurt.
I know I have found love because there is no marriage to break.
I know I have found love because they let me have relationships with others.
I know I have found love because they let me do what I want.
I know I have found love because we don’t scream like my parents.
I know I have found love because we don’t talk behind each others’ backs like my parents.
I know I have found love because we are happy unlike my parents.
I know I have found love because he is still around unlike my father
I know I have found love because they try to be sober around the kids.
I know I have found love because that’s what I decided.

. . . Okay I’m sorry but NO! NO! NO! I am not saying this for the sake of religious morals, old school beliefs, or non progressive life style. I’m not saying this out of fear of corruption. I am saying this because you genuinely deserve so much more than that. I mean, if you’re considering yourself the luckiest person in the world because they are survivable, or because they don’t hurt those you care about (or yourself)… maybe your standards are a bit too low.

I do not consider myself an expert on these issues. I mean let’s admit it, I’m a single guy, haaaardly expert. But at the same time… I wonder if sometimes we view our Christian walks as “We have to avoid the fun of sin to live the hard but rewarding life God wants for us.” but… what if it is not a restraint to follow God’s plan but far more rewarding?

I could spend a little amount of time going to Zhers for their sushi, and if I spent my entire life only trying that I might think it was alright. It would take a lot more effort going to Japan or even a legit sushi shop… but so help me it tastes a lot better.

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