Originally Posted December 1 2016
In regards to love; Is it better to ask “Are they good for me?” or to ask “Am I good for them?”
To ask “Am I good for them” will in itself INCLUDE “Are they good for me?” because in order to help them you must first make sure you yourself are sustained to be strong enough to support them…. but to ask “Are they good for me?” does not necessarily include “Am I good for them?” as it is quite possible to receive without giving…. though it’s torture on the side of the giver…
Honestly though… is it possible to consider love based on what you get out of it? Unmet expectations seems to be one of the greatest destroyers of romance…. because who can live up to dreams? Who can admire the beauty of a beautiful vista when they’re so focused on how they wanted to take the other trail instead?
There is however, one problem which comes from asking “Am I good for them?” and that is the depressing realization that… no… you are not “good” for anyone if “good” to you means perfect. Because we are not perfect and relationships take work. But in spite of this, I believe there is great benefit in changing one’s thinking from what they get to what they give…. and ironically I think we get more by giving than getting to begin with!